Curiosity Over Certainty: How to Show Up Stronger in High-Stakes Conversations
- Carol Myers
- Aug 13
- 4 min read
Before your next tough talk, do a curiosity check, and watch your leadership (and relationships) transform.
The Real Problem in High-Stakes Conversations
Let’s face it, conversations like performance reviews, client negotiations, or even family disagreements can get tense. And when they do, our natural instinct is to prepare our defence. We stockpile facts, rehearse rebuttals, and walk in ready to prove our point.
But here’s the truth I’ve learned after decades in business, leadership, and coaching: conversations don’t thrive when we lead with certainty; they thrive when we lead with curiosity.
This month, I want to share a powerful mental tool I’ve adapted from an article in Harvard Business Review, and how it fits right into the work I do with clients, teams, and even my own family. (Check out my coaching services for teams and leaders by clicking the button below.)
🙌 Start with Awareness, Not Assumptions - Curiosity Over Certainty
We all have moments when we walk into a conversation convinced we’re right. Maybe it’s with a team member who keeps missing deadlines, or a colleague who pushes back on your ideas. Before we even sit down, we’ve already decided what the problem is.
But here's the leadership truth: certainty closes doors, curiosity opens them.
Before your next important conversation, pause and check in:
Am I genuinely open to learning something new?
Or am I just preparing to win?
It’s OK to admit if you're feeling frustrated, skeptical, or already sure of your viewpoint. The power lies in naming it. Self-awareness is the first step toward leadership maturity.
💡 Shift from Being Right to Being Receptive
The goal isn’t to become a perfectly calm, curious leader overnight. It’s about making micro-adjustments. If you’re defensive, try shifting to “open to understanding.” If you’re skeptical, shift to “interested.”
These shifts may sound small, but they change everything. In DISC language, if you’re a Dominant (D), you may need to consciously slow down and listen. If you’re a Steady (S), you might need to voice your perspective more openly. It’s all about self-awareness meeting growth.
✨ When we bring openness to the table, people bring more honesty, trust, and solutions in return.
🤔 Use Curiosity Questions to Unlock the Conversation
Here are a few of my favourite curiosity coaching prompts to use before or during a high-stakes conversation:
🧠 What might I be missing here?
🔍 What’s not being said that could matter?
🤔 What assumptions am I making?
💬 What might this person be struggling with that I can’t see yet?
These questions are not just conversation tools; they’re mindset tools. They slow us down and soften our presence. They shift us from judging to listening, from reacting to reflecting.
I’ve used these in boardrooms, client sessions, and even with my grandkids. (Yes, even 12-year-olds respond better when we lead with understanding rather than “being right.”)
The Leadership Opportunity
Leadership is not about having the loudest voice. It’s about creating space for ideas, growth, and better outcomes. And that space starts with curiosity.
This is exactly the kind of shift I support my clients with, especially when they’re facing tough conversations or team dynamics. When we practice this kind of awareness and communication, trust increases, productivity improves, and relationships deepen.
Whether you’re running a business, leading a team, mentoring youth, or parenting, this mindset matters. It’s part of being a High Road Leader.
Check out my blog on Investing In People. CLICK HERE!
💡 A Gift From Me to You 🧡
✨ Want to communicate more effectively with anyone, even the toughest personalities?
✨Whether you're leading a team, managing clients, or navigating personal relationships, understanding how to communicate is just as important as what you say. My Communication Cheat Sheet gives you quick insights into why communication matters (even in downtime); quick tips for recharging conversations and reflective journaling prompts for communication clarity.
💡 It's a go-to guide you’ll want to keep within arm’s reach for every conversation.
📥 Download it now and start building better relationships, one conversation at a time!
✨ Want to practice this mindset shift with real-world examples? Book a free 30-minute discovery call, and let’s explore how you can lead your next conversation with confidence and clarity.
📩 Email me directly or visit empoweringthepotentialwithin.com to learn more.
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This is your chance to grow with others who are just as committed to self-awareness, leadership, and meaningful development as you are.
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Feel free to share your thoughts by leaving a comment!
Are you feeling unheard, not valued and not part of the team?
Has your team lost their engagement?
Do you feel like you have lost your passion and purpose?
Click the button below to book a complimentary strategy session with Carol. Let's discuss your next steps and whether we are a good fit to work together. If not, no hard feelings, and you'll walk away with some insight.
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