🎠The Leadership Mask
đźŽÂ The Leadership Mask
What Self-Awareness Reveals About How We Lead
There is something interesting about Halloween.
For one day, we put on a mask and become someone, or something, different.
We might be a superhero.
A character.
Something scary.
Something funny.
And then, eventually, we take the mask off.
But what if we thought about the masks we wear the rest of the year?
Not the ones we put on for Halloween.
The ones we put on at work.
The ones we wear as leaders, entrepreneurs, parents, partners and even friends.
The “I've got it all together” mask.
The “I don't need help” mask.
The “I have all the answers” mask.
The “This is just who I am” mask.
Sometimes, those masks protect us.
But sometimes, they prevent us from seeing what is really happening, both within ourselves and around us.
And that's where self-awareness becomes one of our greatest leadership advantages.
1. The Leader Who Looks Confident but Doesn't Feel Confident
Have you ever walked into a room feeling uncertain but acted like you knew exactly what you were doing?
I think most of us have.
Maybe it was a new job.
A difficult meeting.
A networking event.
A presentation.
Or a conversation where you weren't quite sure what the other person would think.
We put on the confident face and move forward.
There's nothing wrong with confidence.
But there is a difference between confidence and pretending we aren't uncertain.
Self-awareness allows us to acknowledge:
I'm nervous.
I don't know the answer.
I'm not sure how this is going to go.
I could use some help.
That doesn't make us weaker leaders.
In many cases, it makes us more authentic ones.
2. The “I've Got It” Mask
Entrepreneurs and leaders can be especially good at this one.
We're used to figuring things out.
Solving problems.
Making decisions.
Taking responsibility.
And sometimes, without realizing it, “I've got it” becomes part of our identity.
But leadership isn't about proving that we can do everything ourselves.
It's about knowing when we should.
And knowing when we shouldn't.
If everything has to come through you, perhaps the question isn't:
“How can I get more done?”
Maybe it's:
“Why haven't I created the conditions for someone else to take this on?”
That's a very different leadership conversation.
3. The “This Is Just Who I Am” Mask
This one can be particularly tricky.
“I'm just a direct person.”
“I'm not good at confrontation.”
“I'm a perfectionist.”
“That's just how I communicate.”
“People know I don't mean anything by it.”
We all have natural tendencies.
And understanding those tendencies is important.
But self-awareness isn't an excuse to stay exactly the same.
It's an opportunity to make a choice.
Maybe being direct is one of your strengths.
But do you also need to consider how your message is received?
Maybe you naturally move quickly.
But have you given others enough time to process?
Maybe you are highly detail-focused.
But could your need for perfection be slowing your team down?
This is one reason tools like Maxwell DISC can be so valuable.
They can help us understand our natural behavioural tendencies and recognize that other people may see and respond to the same situation very differently.
The goal isn't to put ourselves, or anyone else, in a box.
It's to become more aware of how we show up and how others experience us.
4. Sometimes We Don't See the Mask
Here's the challenge with self-awareness:
We can't always see our own blind spots.
We know our intentions.
We know what we meant.
We know what we were trying to accomplish.
But other people experience our behaviour, not our intentions.
You may think:
I'm being efficient.
Someone else may experience you as impatient.
You may think:
I'm giving them freedom.
Someone else may experience it as a lack of support.
You may think:
I'm asking questions because I want to understand.
Someone else may feel like they're being challenged.
This doesn't mean their perception is automatically right.
But it does mean it's worth listening to.
Because leadership isn't only about what we intended to communicate.
It's also about what people experienced.
5. I Was Reminded of This at a Networking Event
This week, I attended the Atlantic Canada Reverse Trade Show.
There were representatives from federal, provincial and municipal organizations, along with entrepreneurs and businesses from across the region.
I made some great new connections.
I also had the opportunity to reconnect with two other women in business and Judith from the Centre for Women in Business.
And I met several other entrepreneurs where there may be opportunities for collaboration in the future.
Walking into a room like that can be exciting.
But let's be honest, it can also bring a little uncertainty.
Who do I talk to?
What do I say?
Will people be interested in what I do?
Will I find the right connections?
And that's where I was reminded of something important.
I don't have to walk into a room trying to prove myself.
I can be curious.
I can ask questions.
I can listen.
I can share what I do.
I can look for ways I might be able to help someone else.
And I can be open to what might come from the conversation.
Connection becomes much easier when we're not busy trying to prove ourselves.
đź‘“Â The Leadership Lens: Why Does This Matter?
Self-awareness isn't about becoming someone different.
It's about understanding yourself well enough to choose how you want to show up.
You don't have to change who you are to grow.
But you do need to be willing to look honestly at:
Your strengths
Your habits
Your reactions
Your communication style
Your blind spots
Your impact on others
Because the leader you believe you are and the leader others experience may not always be exactly the same.
And that gap is where some of our greatest opportunities for growth can be found.
6. Taking Off the Mask Doesn't Mean Being Perfect
Being authentic doesn't mean sharing everything with everyone.
It doesn't mean abandoning professionalism.
And it certainly doesn't mean using “that's just who I am” as permission to behave however we want.
Authenticity is about alignment.
Who you are. What you value. How you behave. And how you lead.
The more those things line up, the easier it becomes to lead with confidence and intention.
7. Three Questions Worth Asking Yourself
The next time you have a quiet moment, ask yourself:
1. What mask do I tend to wear?
Is it the mask of confidence?
Being strong?
Having the answers?
Doing everything yourself?
Keeping everyone happy?
2. What might that mask be protecting me from?
Fear of failure?
Judgment?
Conflict?
Rejection?
Feeling like you aren't enough?
3. What might change if I didn't need to wear it quite so often?
That last question is where the real reflection begins.
8. Self-Awareness Changes Relationships
When we understand ourselves better, we also become better equipped to understand others.
We become more curious instead of judgmental.
Instead of:
“Why are they acting like that?”
We can ask:
“What might be driving their response?”
Instead of assuming someone is difficult, we can become curious about what they need.
Instead of reacting immediately, we can pause.
Instead of trying to make everyone communicate as we do, we can learn to adapt.
That's where self-awareness becomes more than personal development.
It becomes relationship development.
And leadership is built on relationships.
9. You Don't Have to Take the Mask Off All at Once
Growth doesn't have to happen overnight.
Maybe this week you simply notice one pattern.
Maybe you ask someone you trust for honest feedback.
Maybe you pause before reacting.
Maybe you have a conversation you've been avoiding.
Maybe you ask yourself:
“Is this really who I want to be in this moment?”
Small moments of awareness can lead to meaningful change.
A Thanksgiving Reflection: The People Who Shape Us
This past weekend, Canadians celebrated Thanksgiving, a time to pause, gather with the people who matter to us and reflect on what we're grateful for.
For me, it is also a reminder to think about the people who have shaped our journey.
The people who encouraged us when we doubted ourselves.
The people who challenged our thinking and helped us see things differently.
The people who gave us an opportunity, offered a helping hand, or simply took the time to listen.
Sometimes we recognize their impact immediately. Other times, we don't fully appreciate what they gave us until we look back.
And it makes me wonder: How often do we stop to consider the impact we're having on someone else's journey?
As leaders, we can become so focused on responsibilities, decisions and results that we overlook the small moments that matter.
A word of encouragement.
A little patience.
An opportunity to learn.
The willingness to listen without judgment.
These moments can influence how someone sees themselves, how confident they feel and whether they believe they're capable of more.
Thanksgiving reminds us to appreciate the people who have helped us along the way. Self-awareness invites us to consider whether we're becoming that kind of person for others.
Because leadership isn't only about what we accomplish.
It's also about how people feel, what they learn and what they come to believe about themselves because of their time with us.
As you reflect on the people you're grateful for, consider this: What might someone else be grateful for about you?
đź’™Carol's Leadership Reflection
Here's the question I'd like to leave you with:
What leadership mask might you be wearing, and what might people see if you were willing to take it off?
Maybe it's the mask of having all the answers.
Maybe it's the mask of always being strong.
Maybe it's the mask of believing you have to do everything yourself.
Or maybe it's simply the mask of pretending you're not ready when, deep down, you know it's time to take the next step.
You don't have to become someone else.
You simply have to become more aware of who you are, how you show up and the impact you have on others.
Because leadership begins within.
Reflect. Grow. Lead. đź’™
What's Behind the Mask?
If this article made you stop and think about your own leadership, I'd love to hear from you.
What is one thing you've become more self-aware of as you've grown as a leader?
Share your thoughts below or connect with me.
And if you'd like to explore how understanding yourself and others can strengthen communication, relationships and leadership, Maxwell DISCÂ is one of the tools I use to help individuals and teams do exactly that.
How Is Your Leadership Being Experienced?
Take our free 5-Minute Leadership Self-Check and identify where you may have opportunities to strengthen communication, trust, growth and ownership.
About Empowering The Potential Within
At Empowering The Potential Within, I believe leadership development isn't about putting people in a box or giving them another set of instructions to follow. It's about helping individuals and organizations understand themselves, strengthen relationships, communicate more effectively and intentionally develop their potential.
"Because when people grow, teams grow. And when teams grow,
organizations and communities become stronger."
Explore all upcoming events on our website → https://www.empoweringthepotentialwithin.com/event-workshop
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